Progress Part Two...

Once again this is a post that I started about a week ago and never published. I thought it was important to publish it because it tracks my progress.

Today I went to the gastroenterologist(stomach doc.) because of my continuing stomach problems. My weight was 135. That puts my BMI at 23.2 for those keeping track.
I have not been to the gym for at least a week now and feel really bad about that. Despite that I have lost a lot of weight purely with changing my diet because of my weird stomach situation. The doctor thinks I have a bum gallbladder, but no tests are conclusively showing that, as well as I have a freakishly high bilirubin count. Right now until more tests come back telling me whether I should remove my gallbladder or not I am on a very low, close to non-fat diet. I eat the same three meals everyday and hate it. I feel good health wise, but miss real yummy food. In fact I have kind of become scared of food. I'm terrified that any fat will make me sick again and boy was I sick. Laying on the bathroom floor- not carrying to take a shower- worse then having a baby sick... I don't know if any of y'all have been there, but man I don't want that again. So I'm torn I really crave a steak or cheeseburger, but that beloved burger it seems right now is no friend of mine and will make me really sick. So here I am...
Now I realize I should be happy to some extent that I am so close to my goal of 130Ibs., but the strange thing is... I'm not. I don't feel I earned it... the weight loss I mean. I haven't been going to workout and I'm only eating this way because physically I have too. I feel right now weak and sick and not strong or healthy. Kinda ironic. I'm at my lowest weight in years and it doesn't mean much. Plus it's weird people make such a big deal about the weight loss... "Wow, Tam you look great!!! Keep it up, whatever you are doing is working!!!" I have realized it's not about just that number or some BMI equation, but feeling strong and healthy and empowered. Empowerment I think is really what I'm missing. I felt empowered when I was choosing to exercise... I was getting out there and doing something good for my body. I wanted to eat more balanced and healthy because I was taking control and getting my health back. Now I feel like my body is doing it's own thing and I have no control over it. I want to get back to that feeling of strength and empowerment. So that's where I am right now... thought you might want to know.

Progress part one...

I never wrote this down, but on June 4th I had a doctors appointment with my general doctor and I weighed in at 142. That's a BMI of 24 something, which puts me in the healthy range. I celebrated my acheivement by eating glutonously for a week and avoiding the gym which I believe led me to my gallbladder attack.
I will let you know about my current progress in the next post... stay tuned there will be pictures...

Cardio-Therapy...

This was a post that I started a couple weeks ago when I was feeling better- I thought I would post it...

I had an epiphany during Latin Impact last week. Kristen was there with me and she was doing some kick butt hip shaking and I simply could not get it. I was doing great with the choregraphy up to that point, that is until it was full blown hip and booty shaking time, and then it hit me... I don't know how to move my hips. I mean I can move my hips from side to side like a little girl dancing, but sexy, hip- shaking, husband arrousing salsa dancing- not so much.
OMgoodness... I'm so not sexy!!!
I mean this isn't really shocking or new to me, I always have known of my lack of sex appeal. I'm not saying I'm unattractive, or anything self-depricating like that. It's just I'm Tami and I'm cute, not sexy, just cute and sometimes funny. At least I hope.
I was never that flirty girl who could hula hoop provocatively, or tie a cherry stem with my tongue. And I could never ever talk dirty, but that's a whole other post. I'm just not sexy.
Well, I've made a descision... I'm going to as the saying goes "throw my heart over the bar and let my body follow." I think that's a gymnastics or track cliche and I may have quoted it wrong. I'm also really bad with cliches, but once again that's a whole other post. The point is I'm going to fully try in all I do including hip shaking at Latin Impact and not worry that I look stupid or that I'm not getting it right. Who cares? The point is to try and who knows eventually I might get it. I have to let go of control. That's where the gym therepy comes in. I'm despirately afraid of letting myself go and losing control. So I'm letting go.
And who knows... maybe even me, Tami, can learn a new dance- a sexy one.

Gall Stones...

I'm going to be taking a bit of a break from my blog and the gym. I have spent the last two days in and out of the hospital and I have been diagnosed with gall stones and viral gastroenitis. Will keep you updated- right now I'm a bit loopy from the pain meds and not in the best state of mind to write- Lord knows what I might say...
Be back soon!

Hip Hop Hooray...

So last Tuesday I went to Step Class Plus Abs, not because I wanted to, but because my kids were driving me crazy and I needed to drop them off somewhere safe, legal and away for me for awhile. Don't get me wrong I normally adore my kids, but on this day I would have sold them to the circus. Haven't we all been there?
Anyway, so down to the gym I went, kids in tow, headed to any class that would have me... step plus was my only option. Now I had never really planned on taking step plus before this day- it seemed a bit boring to me in theory(you're stepping to no where) and I could imagine it would be pretty painful on the booty, but it was that or the dreaded treadmill.
Guess what- when I entered the classroom and scanned the crowd of fit mommies and not so fit mommies and of course Jeri, Something struck me- there was not a step in sight. And then I met Ty. Ty is this little skinny guy with a lot of tattoos and a killer since of style. He informed me that yes I was in the right place, but due to a scheduling conflict he was going to be subbing in today and because he was the Hip Hop instructor that was what we would be doing this morning.
It was a gym miracle!!!
I had been wanting to try Hip Hop since I joined the gym, but because of choir practice being at them same time I never could go- but now in a wonderful twist of fate- Hip Hop came to me. Hip Hop Hooray!!!
This is by far the most fun I have had in any class. I even called Tammy who schedules all the classes and begged for her to schedule another class earlier when I could come and childcare would be available. I highly recommend this class!!! Super Fun, oh and a great workout too!!!

Age and Fitness...

Jeri you are amazing!!!
During last week's Cardio Boxing class I totally rocked it...
In class there were these two seemingly fit young women. Pretty and in shape... well, not really. They were pretty, but not so fit. I'm not judging, well, at least I'm not judging anymore. You see I left class and went into the weekend pretty cocky about myself. I was thinking- look at those girls- yeah they may look better in a bathing suit then me, but they can't keep up with my mad sprinting and boxing skills. I'm a cardio-boxing rock star!!!
Well, that feeling lasted until Monday's Bodyworks Plus class. That is were I met my new fitness role model, Jeri. Jeri is a this fascinating lady who is of advanced age. I'm not sure how advanced(felt weird asking), but I'm thinking at least 65. She is rock-solid in shape. During the class she out worked the instructor and barely broke a sweat. Talk about a rock star!!! Oh and you know the plank exercise that I talked about hating so much? She could hold that awful exercise forever and never even bothered to take the easier(wimpier) modification.
This made me realize that age and bikini readiness don't necessarily mean health and fitness. That being said, I think actually Jeri would look better in a bikini then me. Oh well. She's a true inspiration!